To Escaping the Negativity Vacuum

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Staying in bed all day, avoiding social activities and experiencing the annoyance (and agony) in the thirty seconds your phone is ringing until you can get back to whatever you were doing. No, we're not talking about my Saturday nightswe're talking about the funk you're in. Errr, we're in. Funkville, USA — Population four: Me you, Ben & Jerry. 😂😅 I can't with my own jokes today. 

But in all seriousness (and gloominess), let's see a show of hands: How many people feel they've been personally victimized by a little dark rain cloud that seemingly looms over nothing but you? While others are sipping mimosas at brunch, hiking waterfalls in Hawaii, or posting their [engagement, wedding, baby, new house] photos — we're a bump on a log with a piss-poor attitude and a "woe is me" mentality. If this sounds familiar, congratulations, you're just like every other twenty-, thirty-, forty-, fifty-, etc- something on the planet. 

It's not uncommon to experience the blues from time-to-time, and frankly, it's probably even necessary. How can we appreciate the good if we haven't experienced a little of the not-so-good. Here in Seattle, when the sun comes out, everyone pours outside and perches on a rock like a lizard in the desert. Same concept — these guys know how to appreciate the bright and warm, because they know the dark and gloomy all too well. The trouble in embracing the blues, is not getting tangled up in the clutches of the web. There's a fine line between a little down and getting caught in a dark cycle of negativity — and that line loses its visibility the longer you hang around it. 


Negativity's effect on your aura

It's true, I may be a little into the hippie-dippie stuff, but I am my mother's son, after all. I'm not entirely sold on the crystals and such — but I firmly believe in energy. In my training to become a massage therapist (what feels like a lifetime ago), we learned about people's energy and it's effects on those around them. At first, I thought these folks had one too many hits of their peace pipe, but quickly drank the Kool-Aid, experienced it, and began honing my skill. 

Energy work is kinda like witchcraft — there's good (light) and bad (dark). The trouble in opening yourself up to actively experiencing it, is that you open up to both ends of the spectrum. There are certainly ways to limit the effects of other people's energy, but, at least in my experience, there's no completely effective method to do so. That being said, I had clients on my table that instantly felt heavy, dark and negative. There were times that, after an hour appointment, I'd be wiped — void of any energy to rally and take on my next client, as I should have been capable of.

When you toy with line we talked about, the negativity vacuum can suck you in before you even know it. By the time you come-to and realize what's going on, you can already be fifty feet underwater. I reference a vacuum because I feel like negativity can suck us in, and consume every fiber of our being — outlook, personality, passion, goals, and soul. When that happens, your inner light fades and that heaviness takes over. Trust me, others around us can feel it, too. I'm sure you've encountered both the people that bring you down in an exchange, or the people that bring you up — seemingly for no reason. That's energy. 


Perception is reality — choose yours wisely

Another little ditty I've learned about negativity, is that it can severely impact your perception. It's like drunk goggles, no joke. When you get into a negative headspace, it's insanely easy to wallow in it, and look at everything through the opposite of whatever rose colored glasses are. Probably a dingy gradient fade lens — the worst. We start to think things that may not be a big deal, or regularly upset us, are much larger and and negative than the reality of the situation.

Phrases like, "When it rains, it pours" or "Whatever can go wrong will" are examples of a lackluster perception in the negativity vacuum. If you find yourself muttering them, even under your breath, it may be time for a quick cleanse and outlook shift. Cliche as it may be, only you have the power to prevent forest fires — and create your own happiness. You're the only one capable of flipping that switch in your mind that sees the world how you want to see it.

You may think, "Nobody wants to be a negative Nancy, David" (no offense to the Nancy I know and love), but I beg to differ. I go through spells, much like everyone else — some are long, some are short, but it always comes to an end, or at the very least, the beginning of the end, when I pick myself up out of bed, say, "and that's enough of that", and take my first step back to the light. You have the power to choose every day, which side of the shadow you want to walk in. Real talk.


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Take a page from elsa's book and let👏🏻it👏🏻go👏🏻 

When it comes to breaking out of the vacuum, the cycle, or coming to the surface — whatever you want to call it — it can only happen once you make the decision to do so — consciously, or subconsciously. By all means, soak up the sadness, watch your go-to flick (mine is the first Sex in the City) and lock yourself in your cave. Do whatever it is that you need to do to feel the feels, and then let it the fuck go. Don't get caught in the web, don't play with the shadow people (omg do NOT Google that), and don't let the negativity suck you in. 

If it helps, put a time limit on your pity party. Set a timer and leave yourself a little bread crumb trail to find your way back out of the void. If you feel you're in too deep, you're not, trust me. The first step is recognizing and coming to terms with where you're at mentally. The second step is taking the first step to snapping out of it. Do something that makes you feel alive. The third through ninth: do things that make you happy, look at the bright side, set realistic goals, revel in the silver linings, forgive yourself for minor setbacks or missteps, talk it out with someone, get out of the house to do something new and lastly, remain optimistic about your path. 

Sure, there are some rainstorms ahead, possibly even some thunder and lightning, but I'm not worried. You got this. 😘