5 things I wish I knew before becoming Mommy
On June 6, 2014, at 2:37 AM, my doctor told me to open my eyes and take a look at my first baby, Anthony. I remember taking an exhausted look up at this wrinkly little man, overcome with emotions — from scared to overjoyed. This was my baby. MY person that had been living inside me for the past 10 months. So familiar, yet a complete stranger to this world.
Over those next two days, I clenched onto every nurse, or person in scrubs for that matter. “Is he ok? Is he eating too much? Too little? Is he sleeping too much? Why is he crying? Will I break his neck putting on his clothes? Does it hurt when I wipe his balls?” I needed help. I needed a rule book. I needed to know that I was going to be a good mom. Despite my worries, they packed us up and sent us on our way quicker than it took to make this little guy. And just like that, I was a mom.
Exactly 22 months later I was back in Labor and Delivery again, giving birth to my sweet daughter, Lyndsey. This time around, things went a little differently. My confidence was there. I knew how to change clothes, deal with diaper blowouts, give the first bath, look at that gross black belly button thingy — which I’m proud to say, I didn’t throw up when it came off this time! Then I came home and had two babies under the age of two, and quickly realized, right at that moment, why people have sister wives.
I like to think I have it down, for the moment at least, but sometimes I wonder how much sooner I would have felt more comfortable and confident, had I known these five things:
1. How many times you’ll drop the F 💣
Actually, every letter bomb there is! I drop it more than three-quarters of my day! Oh, and also how many times your precious-angel babies will repeat it. Especially in public. I think Anthony might even say it more than me. I’m also pretty certain Lyndsey’s first phrase was “Oh, shit.”
2. How much penis you’ll have in your life
And let me be clear, I’m not talking about your husband’s, lover’s, or old dick pics on your phone. Yup, I’m talking about my son. I see that little thing (or according to Anthony, “HUGE!” thing) 99.9% of my day.
3. Mom Wars 🙄
Whether you’re a stay at home mom or working mom, breastfeeding or formula-feeding, spanker or not (the list goes on, and on) the other moms will find something wrong with what you’re doing — and judge you for it. Find yourself a few good mom friends and don’t ever let them go.
4. Your heart will continue to expand, for as many kids you want to have
Mommy real talk: Being pregnant with my little girl, I thought I could never love her the way I loved my son. Then, on April 6, 2016, at 9:05 AM, they put my little princess in my arms, and I realized just how much room my heart had for her. And now she’s my favorite. Well, for this moment at least, because Anthony just asked me to give his “JoJo” a massage. 😷
5. They are your entire life
I thought before having kids I would do things a certain way, and all the lessons I would teach them. But the moment they put these seven-pound babies in my arms, I immediately realized how much they were going to teach me. They have taught me so many things about me, and about life, but most importantly, they’ve shown me what it means to be a mommy. So every day when they fall asleep, another day passed, and another day older, I cry.
I cry for the moments they’ll no longer need my constant attention, and for the moment they push my hugs away. I cry for all the times during that day that I lost my temper, and pray that they’ll always love me as much as they do right now.
I may not be Mom of the Year, by any means — I mean, my three-year-old cusses more than a trucker and sailor combined, and my beautiful year-and-a-half old daughter is sassier than all the Kardashian’s put together — including Caitlyn — but my babies are chubby and healthy, and told they are loved (constantly) and are hugged on every minute of every day.
As moms, we don’t have all the answers, but we do the best we can. And while there may not be a rule book, there’s a monthly wine club that pairs well with exhaustion, spit-up stained Lulu’s and old goldfish. What more could you need? 💁🏻
Casey is a stay-at-home mommy of two, under the age of four. She enjoys long walks to deliver perfectly heated BaBas, giving her kids eight baths a day and chasing after two highly-active threenagers. In her off-time (😂), you can find her at Corepower, Target, or hidden in a corner of the backyard sipping her favorite wine of the month delivery.