The Real Housewives Guide to Anger Issues
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to recognize that people are assholes. I mean really, if I could only tell you how many people try to kill me on my commute into the office... And then you have to deal with the assholes at the office. It's honestly no wonder that I have a tiny bit of road rage — that occasionally happens when I'm nowhere near a car — but trust me guys, it's barely even an issue! *says in my most sarcastically convincing high-pitch voice (with a Jersey accent?)*
Ok, you say anger issues, I say passion — toe-may-toe - toe-mah-toe. I'm an Aries — we're a fire sign — which means that we're easily riled up (and apparently good in bed) Though that must mean bad news for me, being single AF and all... Regardless, there are plenty of other signs and people that can go from zero to sixty in a split second. If you're quick to see red, this post was meant for you.
While there's a mile-long list of things that can set people like you and I off, today we're focusing on the other people that push our buttons like it's their jam. I'm looking at you, Dad. 👀
What does any of this have to do with mental health? Believe it or not, anger can be an intense trigger for anxiety or depression. Besides, holding onto dark energy that arises during anger flare-ups can wreak physical damage on your body — we're talking headaches, muscle pain, stress sweat and violent Montezumas revenge type diarrhea. Is any of that worth it? Not in my book.
If you find yourself in a situation with someone that just either did or said something that has your blood boiling — follow these five (and a half) steps to putting out the flames before you burn your new weave. (Courtesy of the Queens of Calm — The Real Housewives)
1. Bite your damn tongue
Seriously — shut up. One thing I've learned in my twenties is that I can be very reactionary, especially during conflict. After this realization, I try to make it a point to keep my lips sealed until that initial sear wears off. Take a beat before jumping the gun and remember that your tongue can cut.
2. Listen to what's being said
Take it back to kinder-care and keep those mouths closed while your ears are open. If you're in a verbal conflict with someone, try to take this moment to hear them out. They may not be right, but maybe you can get a little perspective, try to see where they're coming from and move forward with a better understanding of where the conversation went off the rails.
3. Consider an appropriate response
Shockingly, it's still not time to speak. Along with learning about by reactionary ways, I've learned that it's okay to not respond in the heat of the moment. With the new-found perspective and understanding, formulate your words so that you can best articulate your point of view.
4. Speak with purpose (and class)
Rather than blurting out the first thought in your head (or what will hurt them the most) do your best Heather Dubrow impression and try to speak your piece in a cool, calm and collected manner. A large vocabulary and a Chanel pearl necklace also don't hurt. Keep words (and even criticism) above the belt and constructive — regardless of who it is.
5. Repeat until resolved
I hate the back and forth of disagreements — Honest to God, who has the time? I suppose on occasion it's better to hear the person out completely, which may take another round or two of this roadmap. If, by chance the person you're dealing with is an absolute train-wreck...
5.5 table the discussion
At the end of the day, there are some skulls that are just too thick. Unfortunately, there are people in this world that were raised being told that they are right, the others are wrong — which has enabled them to become high-and-mighty see you next tuesdays — unable to reflect on where they maybe went wrong. If you encounter one of these folk, politely exit stage left.
Tomorrow's post is dedicated to those that have lost someone important to them. We'll be diving a bit deeper into our souls to talk about loss, grief and acceptance. Stay tuned on OMG.
I may not be fancy, but neither are these broads and they still got a show.